Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Randomize
