so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
