Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
