I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
