I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize