I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
