I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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