I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
