stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
