porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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