Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
