he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize