how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
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Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
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Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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