It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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