I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
