i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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