Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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