the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I deserve this hangover.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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