and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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