We won't sleep together?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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