I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
