Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
