Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I can't put those talents on a resume
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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