i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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