She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize