Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
