I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
