I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
