The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize