You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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