Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
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