Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize