I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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