Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
