turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
