I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
