Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We need to get me chipped asap
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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