I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I can't turn off my feet"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
