Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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