I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
