dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I deserve this hangover.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
