he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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