it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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