she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
