I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
