i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
