maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize