i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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