just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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