So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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