Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
