can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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