Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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