As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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