yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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