I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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