covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
