so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
how drunk are you?
Several
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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