Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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