Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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