I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
