He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
