So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
