the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
