when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
