Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
