My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
True strength comes from lack of pants
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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