There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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